The Big Sick

Let’s talk about The Big Sick, a romantic comedy that came out in 2017 and managed to actually say something real about relationships, culture, and the weirdness of falling in love. If you don’t know, it's based on the real-life courtship between comedian Kumail Nanjiani and writer Emily V. Gordon. Kumail stars as himself, while Zoe Kazan takes on the role of Emily. It all starts as a classic boy-meets-girl, but then veers completely off the usual rom-com tracks.

What I love about The Big Sick is that it isn’t afraid to get messy, emotionally or otherwise. So many rom-coms shy away from actual stakes, but this one has some: immigration pressures, cultural obligations, family traditions, and above all, sudden illness that threatens upend everything. The film’s tone balances witty banter and some very real, very awkward pain. It is sometimes sweet, sometimes dryly funny, and often a little raw.

The performances here really make the film. Kumail Nanjiani’s deadpan delivery is perfect, and Zoe Kazan brings a believable warmth to Emily, even when she’s rolling her eyes at Kumail’s awkwardness. But to me, the real standouts are Holly Hunter and Ray Romano as Emily’s parents. The level of discomfort and weird chemistry between Kumail and Emily’s family adds a layer of realism that most romances forget. Holly Hunter chewing out hecklers at a comedy club? Amazing.

Visually, The Big Sick is unflashy, and that works in its favor. Michael Showalter’s direction doesn’t try to doll things up too much or cover the hard stuff with shiny surfaces. Instead, scenes are allowed to breathe. You get to sit with conversations in dingy apartments or bland hospital waiting rooms, places that look like real life, not a perfume commercial. That visual honesty really syncs with the story’s emotional range.

One thing I struggled with was the pacing in the second act. As much as I appreciated the realism, the film sometimes gets bogged down hanging in hospital corridors and repeating one type of scene: Kumail awkward with the parents, Kumail waiting, Kumail moping. I wish there were a little more movement at some points. It can drag, and if you’re hoping for a snappy, tightly-plotted movie, this one pushes your patience a bit.

The cultural stuff is handled with a surprising amount of nuance. Kumail’s family scenes are some of the best in the film: the revolving door of “potential wives” and the collision of Pakistani tradition with American expectations is never played for mean-spirited laughs. Instead, it feels honest and a little sad. You see the pressure people are under, and even when the film pokes fun, it’s never cruel.

As a love story, The Big Sick skips the easy sentimental conclusion and earns its big emotions. I liked that Kumail and Emily’s relationship doesn’t get wrapped up just because of a single grand gesture. The script gives time to show how forgiveness and understanding take work, not just a dramatic hospital vigil or a big confession. That makes the pay-off feel deserved.

Is The Big Sick perfect? Not really. The pacing hiccups slow down that charming momentum, and some people might be thrown by just how much time is spent away from Emily herself—she’s out of the picture for a big chunk of the film. But if you can live with that, you get a romance that feels lived-in, funny, awkward, sad, and hopeful. And honestly, that’s a win for the genre.